Proof of Promise
Sorry it's been so long in between entries, but between exams and the end of the school year, most of my time has been occupied in such exciting endeavors as studying and writing 35 page papers while staying up for 38 hours straight. I will be more diligent in my blogging duties, I promise... or do I? A promise is a very serious matter, evidently so much that a select group of people feel the need to validate it by spending inordinate amounts of money through the exchanging of a ring from one party to the other. To me, this concept is unfathomably ridiculous.To my knowledge, the most commonly used function of the promise ring is to signify the promise of engagement for marriage. In other words, boy decides he is dating his future wife thus purchasing said ring in order to promise matrimony to lucky (or not so lucky) girl in question. Then, at some point down the road, boy purchases yet another ring, this one of the engagement variety, and gives it to girl in order to promise matrimony. Am I missing something here? Does the latter situation that I just decribed not match almost exactly the former? Some ambitious entrepreneur really cashed in on this one. If you want to buy your girlfriend jewellry, go ahead. If you want to get engaged or signify your commitment to marriage, buy an engagement ring. Now I'm no philosophical genius, but I am a business major, and I know that if I'm going to buy something that serves a specific purpose, i'm sure as hell not going to by the same thing a second time. It's common sense. What a waste of money.
The above picture is apparently not a ring, but a six hundred dollar promise. We had a guy in res my first year at Tyndale who bought his girlfriend a nine hundred dollar promise ring. Why not just verbally agree to get married, and then get an engagement ring when you're ready? Does that not make more sense? Honestly, I don't see how a "promise ring" is some sort of a guarantee that it's definitely going to happen. Does it have magic power? When your girlfriend wears it, does she mysteriously feel unable to decide otherwise? Does she think to herself, "I don't love this guy anymore, but this damn ring is screwing my life way the heck up!!"? No, she doesn't! If she decides she isn't marrying you, all the promise rings in the world will not convince her otherwise. In this day and age, an engagement ring - let alone a wedding ring - is hardly enough to guarantee marriage or even that one will stay married.
It's hilarious to imagine this practice being applied in the "real world". When you get hired for a job, does your new employer say, "Here ________, have this ring that promises you that you have a job, and also take this ring that signifies a promise on our part to pay you bi-weekly for the work you do for our company." Rather than stores issuing warranties on their products, maybe they should issue two hundred dollar rings that bear a promise that guarantees the working life of their product. What about motivational speakers? When they give their encouraging pep talks that tell you that the "new you" will be more exciting and will do great things, do they finish their speech off by declaring, "This is our promise! Rings for everyone!!!!"? I submit that they do not.
Stay tuned for my next blog entry, coming soon -- I promise. Just don't expect a ring in the mail.
posted by Chesterfield McFisticuffs III @ 8:11 PM
10 Comments:
I am in total agreement. I was actually talking about the promise ring idea with Tyla today, and she thought it was cute. I have since read this blog to her and I am pleased to say that she has changed her mind. How about a promise handshake? Sounds like money to me.
mike
I consider my life a success if I am able to turn one person away from the dark side aka "the Promise Ring Curse". Thank you Mike and Tyla for providing me with such a feeling of satisfaction! Mike, how about a promise haircut? ;)
You are so right! Promise rings are just stupid...unless we are talking of the bubble-gum machine variety...then they are ok.
Kyle, I promised to link you from my site.. why the hell didn't you give me a promise ring???
Well, you read my mind and that's a little scary. I think the idea of a promise ring is outlandish and ridiculous. yes, this is coming straight from a girl's mouth. give me a break! I would never expect a guy to do that. If you are living with that much fear that you don't know the stance of your relationship than maybe there needs to be some honest communication done - not some cover-up ring buying escapade.
April and I have joked at great length about this lately. Maybe it is because we are heartless and would probably say no if someone proposed JUST to see the look on their faces (ok, well maybe thats a bit harsh, but serious, if you have no heart and consequently no emotions its not that big of a deal:)!)
no promise ring. words work well, and your yes should be yes and no should be no. your word is your word. a ring is an object.
ok thats all.
hope you are well!!
mandy
My friend and I both think promise rings are ridiculous. As a girl, I have never seen the point in promising to get engaged so I can get married.
As a result of my friends and I thinking that promise rings are dumb. We have taken it even a step further and have introduced the Token ring in our various Christian circles. It's a ring that is a token of our love-and our promise-that we promise to get you a promise ring, to get you an engagement ring, to get you a wedding band.
The best token rings that we have invested in are the ones found for .25 from the toy/candy dispensers. They truely represent the token appreciation of our sacredness of the promise ring system.
As a wedding planner I get to see all ends of the matrimonial process, lucky me! You are exactly right, funny blog.
What's the protocol for responding to the gift of a promise ring? Does a simple thank you suffice, or are we talking something more along the lines of "I promise to say yes when you ACTUALLY propose, and then agree again at the altar (or secular place)"? Sounds like an awkward situation that could easily be avoided by just waiting it out and buying one ring of the promise (read: engagement) sort.
Gross. I actually think that if a guy ever brought out the whole promise ring spiel, it would be grounds for ADIOS! or at least a testosterone shot or something.
I really like the idea of a promise ring; not one that promises to get engaged, but one that says: "I promise to make you dinner every night" or "I promise to be your sugar daddy" or even "I promise to leave you alone so that you can go, sell this ring and buy yourself something nice!!" Now that's the kind of promise I can get used to! You get your cake (something sparkly) and eat it too.
So I think that you make a good point, judt the wrong concept. A promise ring is a promise to a person that you love them and care about them. Just like an engagement or wedding ring. The difference and better thing about it is that your making that promise without as much pressure and sense of ungency that comes with marriage. A man is able to commit and say "I promise...i love you and care about you,Your the only person that i want in my life. They are able to do this with that hanging over your head. I think that whoever came up with this idea was a genius because it's a happy medium for men and women. commitment without the pressure, perfect for men!!!!
Alysia AL
Post a Comment
<< Home