A Primer in creating your MSN and IM Identity (PART 1)
As I was looking for ways to procrastinate from studying, I began looking at people's msn profiles and began to notice some very compelling similiarities between many of these profiles. It made me realize how ridiculous we make ourselves look over the internet. With a culture that is becoming more and more obsessed with Instant Messenger programs and sites such as MySpace, it is important for the new user to understand the etiquette and how-to when it comes to creating your own personal profile to be viewed by hundreds of thousands of internet useers.
This is part 1 of 3 segments that will inform you, the user, on how you can maximize your internet profile. This segment focuses on your MSN picture.
This is part 1 of 3 segments that will inform you, the user, on how you can maximize your internet profile. This segment focuses on your MSN picture.
MSN Profile Pictures:
The "Free Spirit" pose:
This pose seems to be a very popular and common choice for one's MSN profile picture. The user's goal with this photo is to show everyone who clicks on their MSN profile exactly how cool they in fact are. Note the attempt to create a face that shows how much of a party animal they are, and the attempted look of arrogance and confidence that displays exactly how cool they think they are. Honorable mention goes to the squinty eyes and mouth shape that almost creates the impression of an "I'm living large" sneer directed at those who are deemed not as cool as the subject in question.
In reality, this pose seems to create more of an air of insecurity and begs the question, if you're so cool, why the heck is this picture being taken in your room, and furthermore, why are YOU holding the camera?
The "Thoughtful" pose (AKA The Contemplative Pose):
Another popular MSN pose is the thoughtful pose. This pose endeavors to show exactly how deep you are (which, if you need to express that through this kind of picture, is only as deep as the shallow end of the public park's wading pool), and also is meant to serve as a gateway to your inner soul... or something. Seriously, this pose is almost as overplayed as the latest Nickelback song. The authenticity of a picture like this is marginal at best, and it would probably be a lot more convincing if it were taken in front of a more scenic background than that of your dorm room or student apartment. If anything, this pose does nothing but indicate that you're too unoriginal to come up with a better picture.
The "Webcam" pose:
For those that don't want to waste their digital camera batteries, or just want to use all the tools at their disposal, the webcam shot is a very feasible option. I'm not sure what the purpose of this picture is other than to provide the viewer with a grainy, low resolution, and poorly lighted picture. The only other purpose it serves is to creep out the viewer by begging the question, "What other purposes does a webcam serve?". (Disclaimer: This picture was not taken with a webcam but with a cell-phone to create the impression of a webcam. I do not own a webcam... ew.)
The "Awkward Friend(s)" pose:
Lastly, a classic MSN picture is one that tries to show off who you're friends are, and how many of them you have. This picture can come in various forms in terms of how many friends actually appear in the picture. Some choose to showcase one friend who may be more popular (and/or ridiculously good looking... Ty, have you been working out?), than all the others. Some choose to go with a quantitative approach and attempt to show off as many of their friends as they possibly can. It's all well and good that you have friends, but leave the "show and tell" in kindergarten where it belongs. Also, if you need to show a picture such as these, chances are that your "friend" looks as awkward as Ty does in this picture because he/she knows exactly what you're trying to pull.
Next up... Instant Messenger Screen Names: A tutorial on how to make your innermost feelings known to the entire online community...
posted by Chesterfield McFisticuffs III @ 12:55 a.m.
7 Comments:
Since you convinced me to stay up till 2am to read this masterpiece, I will comment. It is hilariously accurate! I think my current msn picture fits in at least 2 of those categories...its really quite sad that we are all victims of this "reputation" that we want to present to the world, of being "put-together and in control of our cool lives which are full of cool people." haha
Very perceptive Mr Journalist.
So, I actually laughed out loud on this one. But...it certainly is an exaggerated perspective. You gave a negative connotation to all these picture shots, so what is the "right" or "good" shot that one should have? hmmm?
luckily my msn picture has me and my naked ass showing.
- Dave Pitman
How about a party picture?
i have been workin out *wink wink*
as you can see by my msn picture... (which is my head pasted on ryan reynolds body in his blade 3 movie)...hot stuff
kyle you should put up my 'naked body' msn picture, ya know. the makes all the girls go craazzzyy.
When do we get part two?
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